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Getting Triggered, Hooked or Buttons Pushed Can Transform Your Relationships
De-escalating conflict in any situation
While you may want your communications to be gentle and kind, sometimes situations heat up between two people and escalate into angry words, raised voices and hurt feelings.
As each person seeks to be heard and defend them self from the other’s attack, they become locked in a battle of wills and force, the only outcome of which is that both are wounded. It is a lose-lose game that gets played out again and again, usually between people who care deeply for each other.
Yesterday, I heard my neighbors — a long-time married couple — arguing with each other. Their voices got louder — his more accusatory, hers more shrill — as they armed themselves against their ally-turned-enemy. Angry words, profanities and threats flew around the room where neither would back down or leave — that would take perspective, deep breaths, the remembrance that the other is important to them, and their own peace of mind and heart is at stake.
Slamming doors is a metaphor for shutting down our own hearts.
From my rooftop, I listened — not to their words but to their energy — the desperation and frustration expressed in the lunge, parry and…
